What Does It All Mean?
Her name is Gladys. She lives in Midlothian. Ever met her? Sure you have. She’s a huge baseball fan and the last few years have reignited her love of the game. Gladys still has over 50 Porter Wagoner albums in their original sleeves. She most certainly has already celebrated birthday number 65, but is not too old to drop your ass if you say one bad thing about Josh Hamilton or Michael Young. Gladys is, however, entirely suspect of Ian Kinsler. He pouts too much for her taste. She thinks he argues with the umps too much and gets himself kicked out of games when he really shouldn’t. Loves Nelson Cruz, has no idea what a boomstick is. Next month she’s going to Canton with one of her daughters and two of her granddaughters. They’re looking for a couple of nice, antique nightstands, but Gladys is hoping to score the 1980’s Rangers felt pennant she regrets not having bought when they were out there last fall. Given the chance, the first question she asks Ron Washington is “why doesn’t David Murphy play more?” Gladys loves baseball and she loves the Rangers and she LOVED the game tonight.
You friends with Nick? He lives in Addison. I bet you are. Nick’s a huge baseball fan and the last few years have reignited his love of the game. He finished high school in the oughts. He’s a pretty big fan of Fleet Foxes, but, you know, “mostly their early stuff”. Beard? Sure, but only sometimes. He has an ironic relationship with Rougned Odor and loves the potential his bat brings to the middle infield. bWAR, BABIP, fWAR, rWAR? Yep, yep, yep, yep. He will absolutely drop your ass (in a non-physically confrontational way. Probably through Twitter, actually) if you say one bad thing about Ian Kinsler. Nick instantly writes you off as a baseball bubba if you utter even so much as a slight compliment towards David Murphy. He’s really excited about Jurickson Profar, but worries about moving Kinsler to left field and what that does to his “value”. The hat the Rangers wore tonight? The ’76 throwback lid, that’s his everyday hat. He wears a red shirsey with Beltre on the back, but he also has one in blue emblazoned with Elvis’ name and number. Hopefully you listen to The Ticket, ’cause if you don’t you’re not going to understand half of his tweets. Next month, he’s going with friends to College Town X for a weekend. They’re looking forward to tailgating, he’s hoping to score the vintage Japanese NPB jersey he saw last year, or the holy grail, the original Larry Parrish pullover he’s certain is long gone from that store. Given the chance, the first question he asks Ron Washington is “why does Michael Young play at all?” Nick loves baseball, and he loves the Rangers, and he LOVED the game tonight.
No matter how you see the game, no matter what it means to you, tonight moved you.
As always, enjoy baseball. Love Ya!
pretty sure everyone in the world agrees that fleet foxes’ 2nd album is much better than their first